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Demo 2013

by Otus

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1.
i'm watching, watching you suffer with the rope. hopelessly druling, crying as you slowly fade away. you're grieving, grieving without knowing why. like a hero in a fairy tale, your own death is a fucking glory to you. the more you suffer and the more you struggle. the deeper it cuts into your throat. the more you suffer and the more you struggle. the deeper it cuts into your throat. bringing your end closer. i can see it in your eyes. you know exactly what you have done. forced it out of your mind. buried it in the darkness and pretend that you can't see. it's too late for begging, it's too late for praying, to regret. never look back till it's the only way left. it's you who chose this ugly path. you have no one left to blame. who do you blame, who can you detest. to whom will you cry for help. i'll burn the truth into your eyes until the white is dyed black with your blood. the reality you've shoved aside. i'll push it right in front of you. i only see you falling down. all alone you hang, hang with the rope tied to your neck, as your slit wrist bleeds you to death. 俺は見ている お前がその縄の中で 苦痛に悶え 汚らしい涎と涙を垂らしながら 息耐えていく様を お前は何故自分が苦しむのかをわかっていない まるで自分は哀れな物語の主人公のように お前は自らの死さえも自分を美化する道具として捉えているのだろうか 苦しめば苦しむほど もがけばもがくほど その縄は食い込み 死期を早めていく 俺は分かっている お前がお前の過ちに気づいていることを それを自らの心理の外側に配し 闇に埋め 見えないふりをしていることを 今更何を乞いているんだ 今更何を祈っているんだ 今更何を悔いているんだ お前はいつもたった一つの道しかなくなってから過去を振り返るんだ その複数の選択肢からそれを選んだのはお前だ 紛れもない お前だ 誰を恨む 誰を憎む 誰に助けを求める ありのままをお前の眼に焼き付ける お前の白目が血で黒く染まるまで 現実を、お前が今まで汚してきた存在を 突き付ける 俺に見えるのはお前が墜ちていく姿だけだ お前は孤独の中で首を吊り、手首を切る
2.
Diamond 02:35
your world is narrowed down by all the things that you deny. and you've plastered your mistake with lies that build your filthy soul. like a diamond you embrace. crawl behind it like a shelter. hold it up high like a sword. it's only a ball of steel chained to your ankle. the ring that shines so dim, it's only a shackle. like a diamond you embrace. crawl behind it like a shelter. hold it up high like a sword. it looks so beautiful on the outside, like something so valuable. but i see right through. i don't need anything that can only shine by robbing other people's happiness. it's worthless to me. you'll drown with your dirty smile, pulled under by the shackled steel that you are holding so dearly. お前は自分が否定し、拒絶した周囲のものたちによって自分の世界を狭め、その過ちに嘘を塗り重ね、薄汚れたその塊をつくりあげる まるでそれを宝石のように大事に抱え、時にはそれを武器のように振りかざし、時にはそれを盾に自分の身を守り それは他人から見れば美しく見えるのかもしれない、価値のあるものに映るのかもしれない それでも俺は騙されない それはお前に鎖で繋がれた鉄球だ その汚く光る輪は只の足枷だ 他人の喜びを奪って光り輝くものなど俺には必要ない、何の価値もない お前はいずれその命よりも大事な鉄球と足枷とともに、汚らしい笑みを浮かべたまま海の底に沈むことになるだろう
3.
Hole 02:22
as you grieve in despair, i can see the bottom of darkness that you cannot see. and all the while you indulge yourself in your sadness. pouring down your empty tears. deeper and deeper i dig this hole, scraping away the grass, kicking back the dirt. i'm hiding myself. searching deep down where no light cast a shadow. i'm hiding myself. engraving the hopes and the dreams. as you grieve in despair, i can hear the bottom of silence that you cannot hear. with hands covered in hatred, to stray away from the eyes filled with envy and greed. there is no bottom, no bottom waiting for you, no end in sight. further you fall, the less you feel. more numb you become. sinking deep down. shooting right through your head. stabbing through the fucking throat. sinking deep down. 絶望に嘆くお前 俺はお前には見えない暗闇の底を見ている お前が感傷に浸って ただ涙を流している間 俺はひたすらに穴を掘り続ける 雑草を掻き分け 汚泥を掘り返し 絶望に嘆くお前 俺はお前には聞こえない静寂を聞いている 自らを隠し 深く 光の無い場所を目指し 希望と夢を切り刻んで 憎しみに覆われたこの手で 羨望と欲望に塗れた視線から逃れるように その穴には底など無い 終わりなど見えない 深く進めば進むほど 感情が薄れ 人間味を減らしていく 頭を撃ち抜き 喉を切り裂き 底に沈む
4.
Reflection 02:53
you look right past, your reflection in front of you, the wretched skinny body so vile. you won't admit it's yours. you've grown so tall and strong dressed up in your fabricated fur. that's not you. with no pain, with no misery, you think there's any strength to be gained? turn your eyes away from the mistakes you chose. despise the friends that gave you helping hands. not realizing how much they've done for you. so caught up in yourself, so conceited. your negative thoughts, they grow out of your weakness. you build your lies up so high and stand on top. one day it will all collapse to the depth of the ground, into the dark endlessness. look at yourself, right in the face. bear the pain and accept your ugliness. count your mistakes with regret. so caught up in yourself, so conceited. your negative thoughts, they grow out of your weakness. you build your lies up so high and stand on top. you yourself you deceived yesterday, will come to haunt you tomorrow. お前は目の前に映る自分自身の姿を認識できない お前はその醜い、狡猾で痩せこけたその体を、自分のものだと認めようとしない お前が着飾った虚構の毛皮は、お前を大きく、強いものだと勘違いさせるだろう それはお前じゃない 何の痛みもなしに、何の悲しみもなしに力を得ることができると思っているのか 自ら選択した過ちから目を逸らし 手を差し伸べた仲間を蔑み 自分の幸福が他者からもたらされていることに気づかず 自我に囚われ 自惚れ お前の負の感情はお前の弱さからくるものだ それを隠すために嘘を塗り重ね、その上に立つ いつかきっと崩れ落ちる 地の底へ、暗闇の汚泥へ お前自身と対峙しろ 苦しみとともに自分の醜さを受け入れろ 後悔とともに自分の過ちを数え上げろ お前が欺いた昨日のお前は 明日後ろからお前を狙うだろう

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Demo 2013

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released February 24, 2013

Recorded January & February 2013 at 2times Koiwa.
Engineered by Nakkamen.

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Otus 東京都, Japan

Tokyo Hardcore

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